Posts Tagged With: office

The Crud of Healing

I’ve been sort of MIA lately because I’ve been doing a lot of healing. And man is it hard.

It always seems to me like healing should be something soothing and soft and gentle. Sure that happens sometimes in the process of healing. Then again, there are those skinned knees that scab over again and again and no, that’s not comfy at all is it? Lately it’s been some of the hardest crud I’ve gone through. And I mean crud. Yet deep down I feel like it’s time. This is it.

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m now seeing a Chiropractor at least once a week. He wants to see me twice a week but so much crud (he uses that word and I’m starting to use it again) has been coming up that it takes me a week to heal from it. Yet, it’s all a good healing. I’m beginning to feel like I can become a whole person. I feel better even though my body gets twisted and contorted in weird ways. And/or he has me working on some emotional healing within the therapy.

Right now his new technique for me is something called NET or Neuro-Emotional Technique and it is fascinating. I can’t really explain it except that he was able to tell just by pushing down on my uplifted arm and putting his finger in the middle of my forehead that I had emotional blockage somewhere in my body and that that was playing a huge part in my physical symptoms and my messed up mind these days. It was crazy. When he didn’t put his finger in the middle of my forehead and pushed down on my arm I was able to push back up. When his finger was on my forehead and he pushed on my arm it went straight down and I had no strength to push back. He had basically disabled my arm. CRAZY AND FREAKY. Apparently it’s sooooo many emotions that are just flying all over the place and I’m not sure what to do with all of them so my body stores them for me and well, let’s think, that’s probably not good huh? So not only am I dragging up feelings and emotions but now they’re all just apparently free to come on up even when I didn’t invite them.

CRUD CRUD CRUD.

I’m also going to a Therapist now who I believe was sent to work directly with me. She loves the color purple, she’s bright and peppy, her office is close to where I live, and she’s also very compassionate and knows how to reach me in ways no one else seems to be able to–even ME! She’s revealing a part of me I didn’t know existed or just wasn’t ready to know or something. Talk about uncomfortable YET it really is helping. I feel like I’m getting detoxed of yucky poisonous feelings. She’s cracking my shell and the feelings are just flooding out.

Apparently it was time for all of this to come up. Wish I had gotten the memo from me that it was time to really work on all this stuff.

It’s kinda crazy how it happened that I found these 2 very important Specialists on my path right around the same time.

Next thing I know I’m in the Chiropractor’s office at the first appointment and I’m wondering how I got there and how is it that it all happened so fast. I mean my friend had just been raving about him and there I was. Then I end up having 2 doctors arguing (and not even knowing it) over a medication I’m on and telling me I should see a Psychiatrist to see what the actual Specialist says about it all and the next thing I know I’m in a Psychologist/Psychiatrist’s office and again, kinda wondering how I got there.

I’ll repeat, it would’ve been nice had someone informed me this was all gonna happen. Don’t get me wrong. I didn’t black out and become another person or my alter ego…at least I think I didn’t…no really. I remember asking about these 2 Specialists but I don’t remember deciding to take the action. Hmmm, could it be that I’m not taking FOREVER to think it all out as much as I used to and perhaps I’m going more with my gut? That I’m following the Path I’m supposed to be on and just doing it?

Still…WOULD’VE BEEN NICE TO GET THE MEMO.

Just sayin’.

So for now I’m going to try to take the advice of these 2 incredibly valuable Specialists who have already changed my life in less than 6 weeks and try to be patient. They both tell me that crud is going to come up, that things are going to be messy and that it’s okay that things are messy. Really. It’s okay if things aren’t all done my way.

Weird. I mean it’s all supposed to be done and planned in an orderly fashion or at least “Nahleen’s orderly fashion”. Well that’s not happening.

I’m feeling incredibly uncomfortable, exposed, vulnerable and raw and yet I’m feeling the safest I’ve ever felt…whatever that means.

Guess there’s more to find out. I get to find out about who this shiny new Nahleen is I’m becoming. My Therapist encourages the purple hair. She says it’s only the beginning. Now it’s time for more piercings and tattoos according to her…She’s convinced there’s a much more wild and open Spirit in me just desperate to come out and she’s trying to gently tell all of me that it’s okay to come out.

So for now I just keep on trudging through the crud. I feel like a clam who just lost its shell and now waits to be eaten by the predator who broke that shell. Poor clam. I feel so bad for it. Must be awful. I’m such a softie. Hey that can be my new Activist project. SAVE THE CLAMS!

Perhaps another time…Continuing on this side note, I’m so relieved I don’t like to eat clams or I may have just ruined any chance of ever eating them again.

What’s cool is I’m pretty sure I won’t be eaten and that I’m going to be OK. Crud and all.

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“And…I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOUR PURPLE HAIR!”

That’s what the really nice lady said at my Chiropractor’s office today as she pulled me into one of the  Treatment rooms.

It had been a really long wait at his office today because he celebrates Passover and had squished in a bunch of appointments earlier in the day so he could leave in the afternoon, so I had waited over an hour.  And what surprised me was that I didn’t get too stressed out about it.  I gotta bring my book more often because I bet this happens every once in awhile.  That’s all.  Otherwise, I tried to use it as chill out time.

Anyway, the incredibly spunky lady who works the front desk (I haven’t met her yet till now since this is only my 2nd treatment and I think this doctor has 2 women working for him and I’ve met the other one only) pulled me in the room and quietly said but with exclamation, “OK.  2 things…” and she gestured her 2 fingers up in the air to stress her point.  “The first thing before we get started…I’m so so so sorry for the wait today.  Our office is closing early because we are celebrating Passover so we are distracted (but don’t worry he won’t be distracted when he’s with you).” she said in a hushed voice.  And then she still so discreetly continued, “Plus as you know the traffic was awful due to all this stupid construction out there and it was hard to find a parking spot so all of our patients have been later today.” And she had a brief pause and said, “AND…” and I’m not kidding you, she starts almost flailing her arms up and down and hopping a little bit, “I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOUR PURPLE HAIR!  I LOVE IT!  I LOVE IT!  I LOVE IT!”.  So I’m starting to laugh out loud about her reaction to my hair because she caught me so off guard because she was so careful at first with what she was telling me and then she says, “I’m sorry.  I would’ve said it earlier and I’ve been DYING to tell you for over an hour but I didn’t want to single you out in front of the other patients and I wanted to stay quiet but since you’re in here now I can tell you.  I CAN HARDLY CONTAIN MYSELF!  YOUR HAIR IS SO AWESOME!”.

(Well OK then…)

There I am and I’m supposed to be having worked on relaxing (already know this after my first treatment) so that the doctor can work on looser muscles and joints if possible and she’s getting me all excited about my hair.  And so we had this lovely giggly conversation about how much she loved it and loved that I had the guts to have purple hair and how she could NEVER have purple hair in her world so she just applauds women all the time who just express themselves and let themselves be “WILD” as she almost yelled again…

“OK.  OK.  I have to calm down now so you can calm down or the doctor will be mad at me for getting you excited but then again he wants us to be warm and friendly to you and loving so this is what he gets.  Anyway, I love it.”

I thanked her a bunch and even after the treatment and she still pointed it out as I left.

What a hot ticket that lady is!  Can’t wait to see her again and more.  She seems like someone I need more of in my life.  I want her energy.

As for my 2nd Chiropractic Treatment, it was really great.  The doctor came in and said, “Hey Superstar!” and I said “Is that because I made it to my 2nd appointment?” (by the way, it’s hard to talk with your face down in those things on the table but anyway…) and he said, “Absolutely!” And we talked about how I was doing.  I told him all the improvements I had been feeling since just the first appointment and some of the symptoms I was having and we got started.  Wow.  He really does so much work on the body AND he makes me work too.  LOTS OF BREATHING.

LOTS OF BREATHING.

Apparently oxygen is GOOD FOR YOU.

And I nearly jumped off the table (not sure how since I was face down…) as he ground his hand into my foot because it was “Ow-ie” and yet it was a relief or I would’ve stopped him.  At one point I had this crazy fit of giggles, more like a BURST of giggles (my usual giggles times 10 at least) as he released something in my neck (one of the biggest issues right now in my body) and I told him I just had to laugh and he said, “DO IT!  LET IT OUT!  WHOOO!  YOU LET THAT OUT!  You deserve it.  You just undid a HUGE knot!  WE DID!  I feel it too.  I wanna laugh too!  THAT WAS AWESOME!” and so I did a burst of giggling (I have already heard some of the craziness that is coming out of these rooms with other patients while he’s treating them and it’s only been 2 times there so I must’ve also sounded pretty funny with my huge BURST and he was cracking up too).  It felt good to get it out and then just as fast as it came on, it left.  He said that would happen but with different emotions and to keep letting it out.

We did a bit more treatment, he had me drink some water to rest and regain my equilibrium and I was on my way.  I can tell this whole Chiropractic experience is gonna be quite a trip!  So much personality in that office.  Other doctors and their personnel could learn A LOT from these cool people.  WOW!

As for how I’m feeling a few hours afterwards, I’m definitely doing better than the first treatment.  My body isn’t in as much “SHOCK” as it was the first time.  It kinda gets it now.  Who knows what’s next.  For right now I’ll take whatever I can get for relief.

RELIEF.

I like that word.

Definitely feeling pretty even with my emotions and my body right now too.  I’ll take it as long as I can.

I have my next chiropractic treatment Thursday.  Can’t even imagine what’s in store!

 

 

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