Posts Tagged With: physical therapy

JUST DANCE!…and while you’re at it play the bongos and tambourine…

The past few days have been really hard and intense for me and I find I start to tighten up inside and clench up all my muscles which of course leads to flared MS and lupus symptoms and probably some signs of IBS…If I’m not careful I become a hard ball of dried up goo.  You know the goo I’m talking about.  Not the good goo.  Wait.  Is there even good goo?  What is good goo?  Why am I stuck on what goo is?


Thankfully my head has been clear enough to remind me to DANCE!




I used to think that because I “felt” like I had no rhythm I couldn’t/shouldn’t dance…that because I “wasn’t” coordinated I couldn’t/shouldn’t dance…that moving my body in any way “wasn’t” dancing because I “thought” I wasn’t a good enough dancer…






Can’t move very well?  Well I bet there’s a part of you that can move a little.  Perhaps it’s your pinky finger.  Well then MOVE IT!

Why don’t you try it now?  Really.  Take a moment.  It’s always good to pause and take a moment.  Come on.  It’s only a moment.  One little moment.  Now MOVE something.

How’d it feel?

You don’t know.  WELL MOVE SOME MORE.

TURN ON SOME MUSIC AND BOUNCE AROUND.  You’re probably at home and reading this and thinking I’m wacky.  Yes I am.  Try it.  Loosen up that body.  No BODY should be sitting around at a computer all day anyway.  It’s OK.  You can get up from reading this and try it.  And even if you’re not at home, tap that foot wherever you are, stretch those fingers out, tap those fingers, move your head from side to side, hit your side with our hand, stretch out your toes and if you do it enough someone else near you might do the same thing and before you know it it’s become a THING!


A couple of years ago I was in this health self care support group thingie (so fancy with my wording aren’t I?) and one of the meditations we tried was “Shaking Meditation” and/or “Dance Meditation” and it MADE ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD FOR ME.  You see, I hold it all in before I let it all out.  CRAZY I KNOW.  Tell me.  I’m working really hard these days on letting it out.  It will eat me up and I will feel crappy.  Sure my body might feel crappy from moving, but something in me will feel relieved.  My head might feel lighter.  The endorphins will have gotten moving for the first time in Ages and may even be yawning themselves because of the fatigue from my MS or lupus or you name it but I bet I’ll feel mentally brighter after they wake up again!  There will be some relief somewhere.  I might even be breathing consciously again and realizing I’ve been holding my breath or something ridiculous like that.



So today what did I do to help my body and mind?  Not only did I take my walk and do my Physical Therapy but I also danced, played my new bongos and played my tambourine!


I WENT ALL OUT TODAY and you know what?


My mood is better, my body feels looser and I don’t feel so clenched and tight inside.


Sooooo, now I have more self care items to add to my list.  More dancing, more bongo playing and more tambourine playing.  Turns out that with looser wrists (thank you recovery) it’s easier to play the tambourine and it sounded a lot better.

Oh and the best part is:





And if you get a chance, let me know how you feel and leave a comment.  I’d love to hear your feedback.




Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment


WOW! I have walked every day for 150 days!

AMAZING! I would never have guessed that I could do that before Physical Therapy almost 5 months ago. NEVER. And how does that saying go? “Never say never.”

Hey, if that’s true, I’ll say I’ll never lose the weight I want to lose ever. Do you think that’ll work? So I’ll be losing weight from now on right? Ha! If only. But you never know.

I am so proud of myself. I think it’s really paying off. I make it a point to take a walk. It may be 5 minutes or 30 minutes. It all depends on what I’m doing. It may be outside, inside, a walking dance meditation or I march in place. The point is, I’m doing it. That’s almost 5 months of moving my legs.

How cool is that? I have multiple sclerosis and lupus and I have been walking EVERY DAY now for months. I have walked even during this crazy hot summer, through hard times, better times, illnesses and you name it. I have WALKED.

One day at a time!

And I don’t plan on taking a day off from walking any day soon…

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , | 6 Comments


That’s me. I’m a walker.

I feel blessed to have two functioning legs that let me walk and will hopefully continue to do so.

AND thanks to Physical Therapy, a past of walking as a hobby, my journey of self care and my stubbornness:


Crazy. Can’t even believe it! I couldn’t have done it in the past. I definitely can’t plan to walk anymore days than this because when I PLAN it’s suddenly too hard and overwhelming. I would put sooooo much pressure on myself to do it and it wouldn’t happen. I also can’t tell myself how long I have to walk OR that I can only walk outside.

The trick is to take it one step at a time, one day at a time. I have walked EVEN when it’s been hot, sunny, I’ve been sick with infections, I’ve felt crappy–you name it. I still walk. I have to be creative too. I have a walking video I use inside my home. I have a walk that I do around the apartment (boy does that get old but it gets the job done). I have a walking/dancing meditation I do especially when I need to get frustration and extra pent up energy out. When I’m out at doctor appointments, I’ll make sure to take a walk around that area and around a block or two; or to a lunch spot. And of course I still take walks outside anyway. But I gotta change it up.


And my legs thank me for it. My body feels stronger. I’m able to stand in one place for longer periods of time. I’m able to get out a bit more and live my life. Those far away parking spaces don’t seem as far away anymore. The walk through the grocery store isn’t so tiring.

By taking off the pressure I am able to keep going. It’s not always so easy to take off the pressure and have expectations. I find I do EXPECT to walk every day and there have been a few days I’ve heavily considered taking a break and I get upset that I might miss a day. BUT then I find myself walking.

How many more days in a row can I keep on walking?

I’ll letcha know. For now I’m thrilled that I’ve made it over 4 months–


Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , | Leave a comment


I had my last scheduled Physical Therapy Appointment today for this round. Not sure when I’ll be back. Guess it depends on when my body tells me it needs it and it all works out.

You know what’s so cool? I did it! I went for 3 months. I exercised and I did the exercises CORRECTLY for the first time in a long time. I let go of all judgements of my body and was able to learn all kinds of exercises that really help. I think I gained a little more self-esteem from doing it too!

I give my Physical Therapist a lot of credit for my progress and willingness to exercise more. She was direct and to the point which is what I needed and somehow she was able to deliver the message to me in such a compassionate and patient way that I was willing to commit even more. I have had numerous doctors tell me in the past to walk walk walk. That is the best thing I can do. I gotta move my body. It’s so important. She is the person I heard the clearest.

I had a lot of fear about whether I should really walk every day. Sometimes my legs have felt tired and I have felt like I really shouldn’t move them much just to give them a break. She was the person who finally got the message through to me at the right place and time and it FINALLY clicked that it was ok to take the risk and to walk. I didn’t have to walk far. I didn’t have to walk long or fast. I just needed to do my best to get moving somehow and the ideal place to start is to walk at least a little every day. Just commit to that.

Well it’s been almost 6 weeks and I have been walking every day. I started with 5 minutes and told myself that was good enough. I needed to be able to build up stamina. If I took on that 30 minutes right away I was gonna be in trouble within a few days and not make it. My body would’ve been screaming to shut down. I just know it. I’m now up to 10 minutes. I wish it was more but there have been days when I have felt pretty darn crappy with fatigue, weakness, stiffness and pain that the last thing I wanted to do was walk…BUT I DID WALK…


How do I do it? One step at a time. If I have to go backwards there’s always a chance for me to go forwards again.

STEP BY STEP. That’s all it takes. And my legs are thanking me for it along with my mind. I need the mental break. I need to get the toxins out. I need to MOVE.

So today as I was leaving my last PT Appointment I took the time to thank my Physical Therapist (I will name her “E”) for her help, her time, her patience, focus, humor, direct communication, open communication and her compassion and said that she inspired me to keep going. It was quite a touching moment and I wanted to make sure she understood how much she helped me get over myself and just TRY it. Her eyes teared up, she gave me a hug and thanked me and she said that that was one of the nicest compliments she’s ever received and that it meant so much to hear it.

And then to send me off she told me to just “Keep On Keepin’ On” and to not give up. EVER.

The Medical Field needs more people like her.

Thank you “E”.

Categories: Appointments | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

Not a Happy Nahleen This Morning

I am so not a happy Nahleen this morning. I feel awful. I tried a new blood pressure medication yesterday–ONLY ONE PILL–I will NOT be taking that again.

I feel weak, depleted, achy, stiff, my body temperatures are going hot and cold, and I really feel like I’m getting the life sucked out of me. I’m trudging through muck and I feel like my hands are stuck to a stringy glue-like substance and I’m starting to lose touch with me.

I’m so frustrated and powerless. I had plans for a Physical Therapy appointment and I also had a commitment to fulfill for tonight. Both of these plans will now have to be cancelled for today…because of my body’s reaction to ONE PILL of a line of blood pressure medications that I previously struggled with six years ago. So I got to wake up off and on all night with my body feeling so “weird” and was given a chance to reminisce about those horrible days of trying crappy medications to take care of an issue that had nothing to do with my chronic illnesses. I think what was happening back then was that my multiple sclerosis and lupus (didn’t know I had lupus at the time) were feeling very overwhelmed by any new medication because I was taking a very strong injectable medication for my MS and they were especially unhappy with BP medications so my body went into purge mode. I remember all too well that I was starting to feel lifeless, like the medications were sucking the life out of me.

I have been currently taking a blood pressure medication that has actually worked out but my doctor insisted on raising the dosage by adding another medication and instantly my mind went into RED ALERT. I figured that I’d be okay this time because both my MS and lupus are being treated and I’m no longer on the injectable medication. WRONG. Turns out my body rejects diuretics altogether. No more. All done. I tried it for one day. My body hates it, doesn’t want it and it is all done.

I agree. I hate it, I don’t want it and I’m all done with it too. I will be calling my doctor today to let him know I’m not taking it. It has been a long time since I woke up feeling this physically crappy. Turns out I like my body much more without this new poison. Hey, at least it helps me have perspective that I don’t need to feel this crappy (and I haven’t FOR A LONG TIME NOW I GUESS) and that I want my previous body back–you know, the one from over 24 hours ago that hadn’t taken this stupid medication yet.

So today I will be resting, drinking lots of water, hoping my body can rebuild and repair itself and will do my best to have patience. It’s time to be gentle with me and to remember that I’m not the same person I was mentally or physically six years ago and I can get through this one thing at a time.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Create a free website or blog at

%d bloggers like this: