I am so not a happy Nahleen this morning. I feel awful. I tried a new blood pressure medication yesterday–ONLY ONE PILL–I will NOT be taking that again.
I feel weak, depleted, achy, stiff, my body temperatures are going hot and cold, and I really feel like I’m getting the life sucked out of me. I’m trudging through muck and I feel like my hands are stuck to a stringy glue-like substance and I’m starting to lose touch with me.
I’m so frustrated and powerless. I had plans for a Physical Therapy appointment and I also had a commitment to fulfill for tonight. Both of these plans will now have to be cancelled for today…because of my body’s reaction to ONE PILL of a line of blood pressure medications that I previously struggled with six years ago. So I got to wake up off and on all night with my body feeling so “weird” and was given a chance to reminisce about those horrible days of trying crappy medications to take care of an issue that had nothing to do with my chronic illnesses. I think what was happening back then was that my multiple sclerosis and lupus (didn’t know I had lupus at the time) were feeling very overwhelmed by any new medication because I was taking a very strong injectable medication for my MS and they were especially unhappy with BP medications so my body went into purge mode. I remember all too well that I was starting to feel lifeless, like the medications were sucking the life out of me.
I have been currently taking a blood pressure medication that has actually worked out but my doctor insisted on raising the dosage by adding another medication and instantly my mind went into RED ALERT. I figured that I’d be okay this time because both my MS and lupus are being treated and I’m no longer on the injectable medication. WRONG. Turns out my body rejects diuretics altogether. No more. All done. I tried it for one day. My body hates it, doesn’t want it and it is all done.
I agree. I hate it, I don’t want it and I’m all done with it too. I will be calling my doctor today to let him know I’m not taking it. It has been a long time since I woke up feeling this physically crappy. Turns out I like my body much more without this new poison. Hey, at least it helps me have perspective that I don’t need to feel this crappy (and I haven’t FOR A LONG TIME NOW I GUESS) and that I want my previous body back–you know, the one from over 24 hours ago that hadn’t taken this stupid medication yet.
So today I will be resting, drinking lots of water, hoping my body can rebuild and repair itself and will do my best to have patience. It’s time to be gentle with me and to remember that I’m not the same person I was mentally or physically six years ago and I can get through this one thing at a time.