Posts Tagged With: AC

Dreaming of a Non-Boiling Fall Season…

It’s fr*&^%$#@! 95 degrees in West Los Angeles (over 100 degrees in the Valley) today (October 1st) and I find myself daydreaming about the Fall Season in New England where I spent my first 22 years…

Sure it’s actually quite typical for October to be really crazy hot in Southern California. Hence, the idea of fire season. This is usually the month when the fires can get really bad out here. The vegetation HAS HAD ENOUGH. And so have the people. It’s a wonder the people don’t melt and boil as well. The best part about the temperature is that the sun goes down earlier and it USUALLY (I feel like I’m jinxing us all in LA) cools off pretty well at night. USUALLY.

But the biggest tease these days is the Internet and the access to all these social sites where those in cooler climates are praising the Fall Season and how “lovely” it all is. I find myself drooling all over the wonderful pictures of the colorful foliage and wanting to jump in the pictures to get just a taste of it. I wish I had appreciated it more when I was there for 22 years. Funny how that works…

So while I sit here in my apartment with the AC at full blast so that my MS doesn’t go completely crazy on me (been feeling the heat quite a bit today even with the AC) and the blinds closed so I can live in a cool dark cave so that my lupus doesn’t go wacky on me (joints are hurting), I thought I’d come up with this list and fantasize away. We were back in New Hampshire/Massachusetts a year ago at this time and it was wonderful. I really thoroughly enjoyed myself and was feeling quite bouncy. I even found myself frolicking in the colorful forest. I was completely invigorated!

So here’s my Fall Daydream Drool List:
*colorful leaves
*dark red leaves
*lighter red leaves
*yellow leaves–almost golden
*orange leaves
*orangey/red leaves
*half-colored leaves still changing
*even the green leaves that have yet to change
*the breeze through the leaves
*watching the leaves fall from the trees
*the crisp cooler temperatures
*breathing in the fresh cool air
*wearing snuggly clothes
*cooler chilly temperatures but it’s not too cold and freezing
*hot cocoa
*hot coffee–pumpkin flavored coffee and other fall yummy flavors
*hot tea
*hot apple cider
*the steam rising from the hot cups of yumminess
*pumpkins of all shapes and sizes–not melting like they would out here on my balcony right now
*gourds of all shapes and sizes
*decorative corn
*special jams and jellies
*mums
*maple syrup
*maple candy
*maple donuts
*picking apples
*cider donuts
*pumpkin french toast
*pumpkin pancakes
*pumpkin baked yumminess
*cinnamon everything
*the way the sun light shines through the trees and the colorful fall foliage
*scenic drives to see the fall foliage
*lots of hills to drive through
*exploring the countryside looking at the fall foliage
*my eyes watering from looking at the deep vibrant colors
*country stores
*caramel apples
*caramel yumminess in general
*scarecrows
*Halloween decorations
*Halloween festivities
*FROLICKING through the fall foliage wherever I am
*sometimes even when it’s raining in the fall
*the bright clear days and the blue blue sky
*the sunsets–although we do get some pretty good fall sunsets here in LA too
*hayrides
*yummy fall smelling candles–yeah sure I can get them here but there’s something about burning them when it’s not HOT
*NOT having to turn the AC on
*sweaters
*scarves
*sitting and watching the leaves blow in the wind
*lakes surrounded by beautiful fall foliage
*a big field surrounded by beautiful fall foliage
*baking baking baking
*the festive feeling in the air
*the wood stove smell
*all of the wonderful FAIRS!
*eating too much yumminess at the Fairs
*bread bowl soups
*seeing my breath as I breathe outside
*the fall colors in general

And I could go on and on. I know I’m missing A LOT of stuff. Do you want to add anything? Please feel free to do so. I’d love to see what you have to share. And if you have any fall pictures you want to share, please please please post them here! I’d love to see them. I can’t get enough!

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Picking Up the Pieces

Oh my goodness. What a weekend it was! I am so relieved to get through it.

On Saturday, it was 104 degrees here in West Los Angeles, CA! Crazy ridiculousness! Thank goodness the AC was working. However, it was still hot in the apartment if you ask my MS and lupus. OH yes it was. Yet, at the same time, somehow I got out with Corey to run some errands. I needed to get away from the building. Like in a car get away. I hadn’t been in a car to go anywhere in over a week and my little visits to the sun deck and my walks around the block just weren’t cutting it. Nope. So for sanity’s sake I got out and it was good to do so even though my body was yelling at me.

On Sunday, it was a bit cooler but still too darn hot. And it was an awful day because our Cleo Kitty (who’s been doing quite well since her cancer diagnosis in December 2011) was very very sick and we really weren’t sure what was going on. We think it was a bad reaction to medication but we’re really not sure. It was one of the hardest days I’ve had in a really long time. And the GREAT news today (Monday) is that she’s doing much better and almost seems like herself again. She didn’t eat for 24 hours. Very scary…when she did finally eat a little bit it was so exciting!

Meanwhile, I’ve still been fighting this small intestine bacterial infection. So while it was so hot and then Cleo was sick, my stomach was churning at times. The good news is that the infection seems to be getting better and I’m functioning more in my life. Today I stopped taking 1 of the 2 antibiotics I was on to treat it so hopefully that helps a bit to clear my head. I tend to feel a bit woozy on them.

So needless to say, we’re trying to settle back into a norm here. Thankfully it isn’t AS HOT here and Cleo’s recovering. I feel so blessed and grateful that we are given the gift of more time with our little girl. She is truly very special and definitely a fighter.

And as much as I feel like I SHOULD BE hitting the ground running, there will be no such thing today. I have a few more things that need to be done, one errand to do which will help me get out and otherwise it’s resting with Cleo.

Gotta give myself room to pick up the pieces and recover in all areas. Most of it can wait.

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Rough Week

Thought I’d check in.

IT HAS BEEN A ROUGH WEEK.

Monday was a Holiday and I was still recovering from feeling yucky over the weekend.  Thank goodness Tuesday worked out with the Pulmonologist and all of my reflection because then the whole week wouldn’t have been so great.  Then again, it was a lot of hard work going to that appointment and being out in the heat.

So then Wednesday comes along and all chaos breaks out because the AC’s not working in the apartment.  In fact, it’s more like heat was coming in the vents and the temperature was rising by the minute.  It’s a long story but it’s not looking good for the whole building at this point.  Sure, the AC is working a bit right now thank goodness (nice bandaid they put on it I guess) but it’s only temporary and I was told it would take months to really get it up and running again.  Hmm, needless to say I was not happy about that since my MS and lupus continue to be so dang sensitive to the heat.  Oh and to top it off, I can’t get the YouTube links to work on my ’80s Blog post for this week so that’s been delayed STILL.  Geez.  Looking into that.

Thursday’s been a catch up day for me but I’ve had to reconfigure my whole day and my health depends on as much routine as possible.  So in order to make sure I’m able to get some stuff done before the AC “might” stop working again today, I had to go to the grocery store before my shower and exercises (I feel much much better if I do my whole self care regimen first usually) and then eat, take a shower and exercise–all the while hoping the AC wouldn’t go down again.  I know I’m blessed to have AC.  I’m truly grateful.  BUT life sucks without it.  My body started acting up RIGHT AWAY as it is getting warmer.  Sucks big time.

And tomorrow I need to see the Gastroenterologist because my digestive symptoms are starting to act up again and I want to address it sooner rather than later.  UGH!  I really don’t like going to the doctor on Fridays.  They’ve half checked out for the week and I’m pretty much done and spent from the week.  Sooooo, this should be interesting.  Here’s hoping he can help me and it’s nothing too serious.  As if I need more symptoms and health stuff to manage.  Please if you can, send along good thoughts for me.  Since that appointment is happening I may not get a chance to post my Moments of Peace but I will play it by ear.  I may need to be reminded that there are such things as peace.

OK.  Gonna go now.  Gotta rest.  My body’s done with me.

I hope you’re all having a better week than me.  I am aware that I’ve had worse times for sure but it’s been quite a hard one and I’m feeling tired and bothered.

Take care.

 

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Stream of Nahleen-ness

*Today is Monday.  Yippy Skippy.

*I wish I felt better.

*I want MS and lupus to leave me alone.

*Cleo’s cute.

*I like Corey.

*Sleep seems to help me mentally and physically these days.

*Why is it that any hope and positivity I seem to have seems to either go away or be masked by worsened physical symptoms and discomfort?  Why do these “negative” thoughts have so much power?  Why can’t my hope be more powerful?  What are “negative” thoughts?  What makes them “negative”?  Why am I obsessing over “negative” thoughts?  What about hope?  See there I go again!

*I’m glad we took out the wedding quilt my Mommy-in-law made and are using it.  It’s comfy and it feels like she’s hugging me.  My Cleo Kitty really likes it today and it’s her new favorite place.

*I think I like the new Norah Jones CD.  I feel conflicted.  I can’t make up my mind.  I like the music.  I like her.  I can’t seem to put them together for some reason.

*On the music note, I am now a BIG fan of Gotye.  Have you all listened to his music?  His music video for “Somebody I Used To Know” blows my mind.  You gotta check it out if you haven’t already.

*I wish I could be as creative as the Gotye music video I posted above.  On that note, what am I waiting for?  What holds me back?

*I’d like to get out of my way more and be more of “me”.

*WHO AM I?

*Why am I me?

*This Blog makes me feel like I need to get a life.

*Thank goodness for AC.  Helps me even out my temperature.

*’Tis the season for me to start to take on the weather as my nemesis as if it is out to get me.  Like it is trying to make me suffer with the heat.  Like it knows and cares about me enough to single me out and take me on and make me feel worse with MS heat fatigue.  As if it’s sunnier on purpose because my lupus gets worse.  As if I’m that important.

*It would be nice to control the weather.  I have a thermostat to control the AC and the heat a bit.  Why not the weather as a whole?  Again, if only I was that important.  EGO!

*Seriously though, the weather makes me angry when it affects my symptoms and makes me feel worse.  The fatigue, aches and stiffness are not fun.  And it plays with my head.  Or I play with my mind is more like it.  My symptoms start acting up and then I think “Oh no!  Something’s wrong.  I’m getting worse!” and then I wait it out, I put on the AC more, I go into darkness away from the sun, I exercise, I distract myself with something I like to do and get even a little bit out of my head and then I’m like, “Oh.  It was the sun and heat”. I especially notice it when the cooler seasons come rolling on in and it occurs to me that it REALLY was the sun and the heat.

*Still, though.  It sucks big time.  The weather affects me so much!  Stupid weather!

*If there’s an event going on outside I probably won’t be able to go because the sun affects me so much and then the heat along with it.  I hate missing things.  I hate being left out.  I like being social.  I feel like I’m going to lose all my friends and family because I couldn’t be a part of whatever it is.  Yet every time I don’t go and push it on my body too much I do end up thanking myself in the end and usually physically feel better.

*Stupid MS and lupus!  Go away!

*So I’ve found for the first time ever in dealing with my chronic illnesses that first of all I can sleep better and sleep more.  That’s already amazing.  And now I’m finding that getting more sleep lessens the pain I’m feeling and of course the fatigue.  Also amazing.  Sooooo, I’m trying to get over my ego and my stubbornness and let myself sleep more.  I have not ever been a really good sleeper so I have years and years of sleep catching up to do.  It really okay just to sleep.

*Speaking of that, will I ever catch up with me?

*I feel like there aren’t enough TV shows and fictional books out there about a character with a quiet/invisible chronic illness such as MS or lupus and there needs to be more.  Sure there are those really visual illnesses such as AIDS and cancer and not to belittle those but what about the OTHER illnesses that no one understands (even those with them)?  What about the every day lives of just trying to get up?  Just trying to take a shower?  Just trying to eat?  Just trying to get though a day, an hour a moment?  Is this my next calling?  Should I develop this idea?  Would anyone pay attention?

*Do I even have the energy to write a whole book?  To produce a whole TV show?  These are things I want to do still and yet I don’t know how I would have the stamina to do them.  Perhaps I need to break them up into smaller pieces and do one thing at a time.  But I have limitations and things will probably go slower than with someone who’s healthy. Then again so what?

*I’M SO TIRED OF LIMITATIONS!

*I’m so tired of all the self care I need to do for me, of all the time it takes up.

*Then again: I’M SO GRATEFUL for self care and to be doing these things for me and to be feeling better.  I’m so happy to just look up at a sky and to keep it more simple and to love my Cleo Kitty and to laugh and giggle and to just be.

*I want to be a smurf.  They are who they are and they’re given names for their personality.  As if it’s that easy.  But why can’t it be that easy?  I’d be little and I’d be blue and I’d go get into trouble and Papa Smurf would ALWAYS save me.  How cool would that be?  And I’d go around singing:

“LA LA LA LA LA LA LALA LA LALA LA LA!”

 

****DEDICATED TO: My cousin Brian Knight who passed on too quickly 6 years ago due to yucky cancer.  He was quite the talented writer and would send his friends and family frequent Random Thoughts emails about everything from his health struggles to baseball.  His insights were funny and profound.  Thank you Brian.  You are quite an inspiration to me.  I miss you.

 

 

 

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