Posts Tagged With: weather

DUDE!: 85 degrees in Los Angeles, CA on March 1st?!

I mean I get it.  I live in a desert.  Los Angeles, CA is a desert.

BUT COME ON NOW!  85 DEGREES IN WEST LA on March 1st?!

GROSS!

I read today that today is the first day of Meteorological Spring.  Did LA skip any kind of spring and jump right to summer?!

Um, my multiple sclerosis and lupus are very mad at you weather.  They have been in a snit for the past few days anyway because it’s been in the 80s but today was just too much.  The sun has also been crazy intense and we aren’t even in the summer months yet.  Plus you jumped from 65 to 80 within a few hours and haven’t dropped below 80 during the day for a few days.

What happened to rainy season?  Are we not getting it this year?  That’s so uncool too.  We already basically live in a drought day in and day out.  We never really get the amount of rain we really ever need and I just heard that yesterday there was a brush fire in Riverside.  Now granted that’s pretty far away from where I live but it tells me we are in big ole trouble this year if this continues.

So this is the part where I start being really sappy nice to you weather because I mentally love you and am fascinated by your whole being.  Can you bring the temperature down about 15 degrees???  I think 70 is fabulous with a light breeze and some cool white puffy clouds in the sky.  Just lovely.  Some birds chirping would be nice too but I digress.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don’t last 85 degrees.  I get enough of those days during the very long LA summer and have to deal.  But March 1st is really hard to deal with.  It puts a whole damper on me and my life.  The sun and heat fatigue start and well that’s just yucky…

OK?!  ARE WE COOL?  CAN WE COME TO A COMPROMISE?

I’ll even deal with 75 degrees.  That’s OK too.

Just some thoughts…you know.

I hope I wasn’t too rude earlier.  It just gets me upset when I’m too hot and too sunned and it takes NOTHING for me to go there and then I get cranky and I don’t like that.  An un-cranky Nahleen is better.

SOOOO YEAH.  I guess I’ve stated my case.

Hope you listened, understand and can help me out…

THANKS!

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GO AWAY LUPUS AND MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS!

DO YOU MIND BODY?!

I’M TRYING TO HAVE A LIFE HERE.

GO AWAY LUPUS, MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS, IBS, SINUS ISSUES, SENSITIVITIES TO EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD IT SEEMS LIKE! I’M DONE WITH YOU TODAY!

Of course, I’ve been done with you before you even started but I don’t want you here. Can’t you see I’m busy? Can you see I’m trying to expand my life? Can you see my mind’s busy? Yeah, I know that you get tired of my busy mind but I have given up and changed so many things in my life for you. MY MIND IS SOOOOO LESS BUSY THAN IT USED TO BE AND YOU KNOW IT BODY…

WHY DO I HAVE TO GIVE UP MORE TODAY?

ENOUGH!

Sure, I’m better than I was a year ago or perhaps even 6 months ago. Well that’s all good and I’d like to celebrate but not today.

I DON’T WANT TO CELEBRATE!

And if I did celebrate would that wear me out too? Would my butt still feel like it’s kicked? Would my hands still hurt while typing this? Would any activity take the wind out of me before I even really started it?

YES there is weird different weather happening. I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THAT. It was 85 in LA for 2 days and then just warmer in general and now a big COLD storm is coming which I started feeling a week ago and my body is CONFUSED!

OK. WELL CONFUSION DOESN’T MEAN I HAVE TO STOP EVERYTHING!

LEAVE ME ALONE!

HOW DO I EXPAND MY LIFE WHEN YOU KEEP GETTING IN MY WAY?!

Sure I just had 2 doctor appointments last week and both doctors said they thought I was so much better.

BETTER….

BETTER….

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THAT MEANS EXACTLY?

BETTER….

Yet here I am with my butt feeling kicked again and feeling CRAPPY. What’s weird about today is that I’m having symptoms that I CANNOT DESCRIBE. I guess I just need to call them WEATHER SYMPTOMS…

AND THIS IS ME! I’M A WEATHER GEEK FOR GOODNESS SAKES! I LOVE THE WEATHER! I WANT TO BE FOCUSED ON THE EXCITEMENT OF THE IDEA OF “YAY!” WEATHER IS HAPPENING IN LA! HOW COOL IS THAT?!

Not.

Cool.

When.

I.

Have.

MS.

And.

Lupus.

………………………………

And yet somehow I just keep on going and am able to write this. I had to get it out. I’M SO FRUSTRATED! And the world keeps turning despite how I feel. And I look out the window and watch as people go along with their day…and they have NO IDEA what I’m going through and I have NO IDEA what’s happening in their lives.

AND LIFE GOES ON.

And yes I will be excited about the weather.

BUT.

The

MS

And

Lupus

Will Still Be Here With Me Through It All…

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Stream of Nahleen-ness

*Today is Monday.  Yippy Skippy.

*I wish I felt better.

*I want MS and lupus to leave me alone.

*Cleo’s cute.

*I like Corey.

*Sleep seems to help me mentally and physically these days.

*Why is it that any hope and positivity I seem to have seems to either go away or be masked by worsened physical symptoms and discomfort?  Why do these “negative” thoughts have so much power?  Why can’t my hope be more powerful?  What are “negative” thoughts?  What makes them “negative”?  Why am I obsessing over “negative” thoughts?  What about hope?  See there I go again!

*I’m glad we took out the wedding quilt my Mommy-in-law made and are using it.  It’s comfy and it feels like she’s hugging me.  My Cleo Kitty really likes it today and it’s her new favorite place.

*I think I like the new Norah Jones CD.  I feel conflicted.  I can’t make up my mind.  I like the music.  I like her.  I can’t seem to put them together for some reason.

*On the music note, I am now a BIG fan of Gotye.  Have you all listened to his music?  His music video for “Somebody I Used To Know” blows my mind.  You gotta check it out if you haven’t already.

*I wish I could be as creative as the Gotye music video I posted above.  On that note, what am I waiting for?  What holds me back?

*I’d like to get out of my way more and be more of “me”.

*WHO AM I?

*Why am I me?

*This Blog makes me feel like I need to get a life.

*Thank goodness for AC.  Helps me even out my temperature.

*’Tis the season for me to start to take on the weather as my nemesis as if it is out to get me.  Like it is trying to make me suffer with the heat.  Like it knows and cares about me enough to single me out and take me on and make me feel worse with MS heat fatigue.  As if it’s sunnier on purpose because my lupus gets worse.  As if I’m that important.

*It would be nice to control the weather.  I have a thermostat to control the AC and the heat a bit.  Why not the weather as a whole?  Again, if only I was that important.  EGO!

*Seriously though, the weather makes me angry when it affects my symptoms and makes me feel worse.  The fatigue, aches and stiffness are not fun.  And it plays with my head.  Or I play with my mind is more like it.  My symptoms start acting up and then I think “Oh no!  Something’s wrong.  I’m getting worse!” and then I wait it out, I put on the AC more, I go into darkness away from the sun, I exercise, I distract myself with something I like to do and get even a little bit out of my head and then I’m like, “Oh.  It was the sun and heat”. I especially notice it when the cooler seasons come rolling on in and it occurs to me that it REALLY was the sun and the heat.

*Still, though.  It sucks big time.  The weather affects me so much!  Stupid weather!

*If there’s an event going on outside I probably won’t be able to go because the sun affects me so much and then the heat along with it.  I hate missing things.  I hate being left out.  I like being social.  I feel like I’m going to lose all my friends and family because I couldn’t be a part of whatever it is.  Yet every time I don’t go and push it on my body too much I do end up thanking myself in the end and usually physically feel better.

*Stupid MS and lupus!  Go away!

*So I’ve found for the first time ever in dealing with my chronic illnesses that first of all I can sleep better and sleep more.  That’s already amazing.  And now I’m finding that getting more sleep lessens the pain I’m feeling and of course the fatigue.  Also amazing.  Sooooo, I’m trying to get over my ego and my stubbornness and let myself sleep more.  I have not ever been a really good sleeper so I have years and years of sleep catching up to do.  It really okay just to sleep.

*Speaking of that, will I ever catch up with me?

*I feel like there aren’t enough TV shows and fictional books out there about a character with a quiet/invisible chronic illness such as MS or lupus and there needs to be more.  Sure there are those really visual illnesses such as AIDS and cancer and not to belittle those but what about the OTHER illnesses that no one understands (even those with them)?  What about the every day lives of just trying to get up?  Just trying to take a shower?  Just trying to eat?  Just trying to get though a day, an hour a moment?  Is this my next calling?  Should I develop this idea?  Would anyone pay attention?

*Do I even have the energy to write a whole book?  To produce a whole TV show?  These are things I want to do still and yet I don’t know how I would have the stamina to do them.  Perhaps I need to break them up into smaller pieces and do one thing at a time.  But I have limitations and things will probably go slower than with someone who’s healthy. Then again so what?

*I’M SO TIRED OF LIMITATIONS!

*I’m so tired of all the self care I need to do for me, of all the time it takes up.

*Then again: I’M SO GRATEFUL for self care and to be doing these things for me and to be feeling better.  I’m so happy to just look up at a sky and to keep it more simple and to love my Cleo Kitty and to laugh and giggle and to just be.

*I want to be a smurf.  They are who they are and they’re given names for their personality.  As if it’s that easy.  But why can’t it be that easy?  I’d be little and I’d be blue and I’d go get into trouble and Papa Smurf would ALWAYS save me.  How cool would that be?  And I’d go around singing:

“LA LA LA LA LA LA LALA LA LALA LA LA!”

 

****DEDICATED TO: My cousin Brian Knight who passed on too quickly 6 years ago due to yucky cancer.  He was quite the talented writer and would send his friends and family frequent Random Thoughts emails about everything from his health struggles to baseball.  His insights were funny and profound.  Thank you Brian.  You are quite an inspiration to me.  I miss you.

 

 

 

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