GO AWAY LUPUS AND MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS!

DO YOU MIND BODY?!

I’M TRYING TO HAVE A LIFE HERE.

GO AWAY LUPUS, MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS, IBS, SINUS ISSUES, SENSITIVITIES TO EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD IT SEEMS LIKE! I’M DONE WITH YOU TODAY!

Of course, I’ve been done with you before you even started but I don’t want you here. Can’t you see I’m busy? Can you see I’m trying to expand my life? Can you see my mind’s busy? Yeah, I know that you get tired of my busy mind but I have given up and changed so many things in my life for you. MY MIND IS SOOOOO LESS BUSY THAN IT USED TO BE AND YOU KNOW IT BODY…

WHY DO I HAVE TO GIVE UP MORE TODAY?

ENOUGH!

Sure, I’m better than I was a year ago or perhaps even 6 months ago. Well that’s all good and I’d like to celebrate but not today.

I DON’T WANT TO CELEBRATE!

And if I did celebrate would that wear me out too? Would my butt still feel like it’s kicked? Would my hands still hurt while typing this? Would any activity take the wind out of me before I even really started it?

YES there is weird different weather happening. I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THAT. It was 85 in LA for 2 days and then just warmer in general and now a big COLD storm is coming which I started feeling a week ago and my body is CONFUSED!

OK. WELL CONFUSION DOESN’T MEAN I HAVE TO STOP EVERYTHING!

LEAVE ME ALONE!

HOW DO I EXPAND MY LIFE WHEN YOU KEEP GETTING IN MY WAY?!

Sure I just had 2 doctor appointments last week and both doctors said they thought I was so much better.

BETTER….

BETTER….

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THAT MEANS EXACTLY?

BETTER….

Yet here I am with my butt feeling kicked again and feeling CRAPPY. What’s weird about today is that I’m having symptoms that I CANNOT DESCRIBE. I guess I just need to call them WEATHER SYMPTOMS…

AND THIS IS ME! I’M A WEATHER GEEK FOR GOODNESS SAKES! I LOVE THE WEATHER! I WANT TO BE FOCUSED ON THE EXCITEMENT OF THE IDEA OF “YAY!” WEATHER IS HAPPENING IN LA! HOW COOL IS THAT?!

Not.

Cool.

When.

I.

Have.

MS.

And.

Lupus.

………………………………

And yet somehow I just keep on going and am able to write this. I had to get it out. I’M SO FRUSTRATED! And the world keeps turning despite how I feel. And I look out the window and watch as people go along with their day…and they have NO IDEA what I’m going through and I have NO IDEA what’s happening in their lives.

AND LIFE GOES ON.

And yes I will be excited about the weather.

BUT.

The

MS

And

Lupus

Will Still Be Here With Me Through It All…