Posted this on my Facebook Page Nahleen.com and thought it was perfect for a Blog post for today. What came out wasn’t really intended which is why I think it’s worth the Blog post. It hit a personal spot I didn’t know existed. I love it when that happens!
SO HERE IT IS:
“Today is quote day I guess:, “Truly the light is sweet, and a pleasant thing it is for the eyes to behold the sun.”–Ecclesiastes—this feels really touches my heart because I absolutely love the light and really became friends with the sun especially when I was diagnosed with MS 10 years ago…we were best friends. Yet I always wondered why I felt weird in it and I couldn’t place it. I just thought it must be the MS…yet it was the sun that helped keep me sane. I truly believe that. The more I was outside, the more fresh air I got, the better I felt mentally. I wasn’t nearly as claustrophobic. But then I found out I had Lupus 2.5 years ago and EVERYTHING changed. I had to get out of the sun. I had to get away from it. Turns out it was really harming me too and that’s why I felt “weird”. I really grieved the LOSS of my contact with the sun especially that first year after my lupus diagnosis…it really did make me feel worse, especially because my body was so flared up and inflamed…now I wear sunscreen every day, hats as much as I can handle in the sun, sun protective clothing and it really helps…but it still bothers me. Turns out my relationship with the sun had to change and will probably never be the same again and that’s great for my physical health and a lot of my mental health because there is relief when my body is in darkness and I don’t have to mentally fight so hard to deal BUT IT IS SO HARD TO FULLY LET IT GO. So I take it one day at a time. And when I can get time with the sun I take it…even in small increments because I can’t cut it out totally…it is a part of who I am…guess it really teaches me how to deal with any relationship…”
Thank you all for being here. You’re really helping me figure out who I am!