Yes I’m here!
Dang DSL is back up and running and apparently so am I!
There’s a lot of life going on here. There’s the holidays, doctor appointments, taking care of me (full time job), more disability issues that seem never ending and insecurity there because one entity terminated my coverage which then cut off my healthcare coverage, but then I happened to go on Medicare (having pride issues about going on that at age 35 but at the same time so GRATEFUL to have the coverage) LITERALLY the next day after being cut off, yet at the same time there’s a whole Prescription Part D of the Medicare coverage that I had not enrolled in because I was told by my healthcare people not to worry about that since they would cover the Prescription part of my healthcare, but then that couldn’t happen because they had to cut me off due to the disability entity being connected to my work and they gave me no time to sign up for that part which I believe is illegal, so now I’m trying to find the time, energy and patience to sign up for a Prescription Plan and have to pay out of pocket for my medications until I do so and I HAVE NO IDEA HOW I’M GOING TO GET MY GILENYA MEDICATION FOR MS BECAUSE IT’S SO EXPENSIVE (that’s tomorrow’s priority call), I’m also trying to appeal all of this but before I do that I need to be able to even get through reading the horrible termination letter from this disability entity that is so upsetting for so many reasons, so I’ve been dealing with feelings and emotions, picking myself back up, getting a new hairdo that I plan on showing pictures of very soon, dealing with an undiagnosis of cancer for our dearest Cleo Kitty yet she still has a very sensitive immune system and we are trying to balance all those issues, along with my newly diagnosed IBS acting up because the treatment just isn’t cutting it, along with having multiple sclerosis and lupus, having a really neato husband who’s always there and supportive and trying to spend time with him while he’s making changes, trying to have a social life, doing my best to stay sane, be in touch with lots of people, trying to rest and recover and it goes on and on.
I made that a MEGA RUN-ON sentence because I think it helps to see just how OVERWHELMED I am and how big my life is. Sure there are a lot of really great things going on but they are intense and I truly believe I’ve been on a spiritual journey for quite awhile that is really helping but a lot of work. HOWEVER, there are some really seriously scary things going on with this current healthcare insecurity and financial insecurity and a lot of feelings of anger yet at the same time it’s the IBS that’s acting up and my MS and lupus have calmed down. BUT I have to be careful of that because that could change at any time especially if I don’t do all the self-care I need to do and get enough rest. And hence things get done when they get done and that’s how it is. As a person who is a Type A personality at the core and has had to really unwind that over the years, it still hits me every time and I struggle with it trying to get myself to just calm down.
It’s hard to PRIORITIZE right now but I’m taking it moment by moment and breath by breath. Day by day is the best I can do. By the way, did you know that BREATHING and taking extra BREATHS helps??? I mean who knew? I’m really finding out that I hold my breath way too much so I’m trying to work on that.
WOW! I’m tired just from writing this. My Cleo Kitty is calling me. She beckons quite often these days. Gotta love her. She is quite a spirit.
I hope you are all well and that I can write more soon. Take care and I hope you can remember to breathe during this time of the year too. Turns out it’s quite important to do…