2 YEARS AND 2 DAYS!

I have survived 2 years and 2 days with a lupus diagnosis!

Go me!

2 years ago when I was diagnosed, I felt symptoms that had to have been traumatically horrible and unfathomable because I have blocked out those physical sensations. When I look back on those 1st few days with a new label of a lupus diagnosis, I can’t really remember how I felt physically–not really.<em. I just know it was horrible because of how I felt mentally. I know the basic symptoms I had BUT there's a block there and that's OK with me. I'd rather not relive those awful symptoms and to that intensity EVER again. Sure I still feel most of those symptoms and perhaps some more but with changing my outlook about ME, treatment, proactive doctors, and people like you it's less intense.

As hard as it has been to have multiple sclerosis and then to add on lupus, I am truly grateful for my path of recovery. I have trudged and I have struggled and I am losing it these days due to the intense sunshine and heat, BUT my path is crowded and yet more peaceful. It is crowded with so many people who have been there with me and for me through all of it. Words can't describe how touched I am that I am NOT going through this ALONE. It is so easy to isolate with chronic illness AND YET you never let me–even when I might want to.

I often feel overwhelmed by all of the hard work it takes to handle medical business (insurance, bills, doctors, medications…), self care (rest, exercise, healthy eating, meditation, having fun, having a life, socializing, living for me…), a life that is currently on Disability (thank goodness for it but it drives me absolutely crazy–I highly recommend it if you need it BUT I will not sugarcoat it: IT IS A HARD BATTLE TO FIGHT–yet totally worth it), etc.

AND…

I also often feel wonderfully (please don't stop) overwhelmed by all of the love, support, encouragement, positivity, relationships and connecting, the hugs, the smiles, the prayers, the gifts, the willingness to be there for me for what I need. Tears are running down my face right now as I write this because I KNOW you are all here with me. I'm learning to accept it too. That can be hard. I can't do this on my own and it is so hard to ask for help BUT it has all been truly a gift. And to stop and smell the roses and look at the sky are truly wondrous to me. Heck even my PURPLE HAIR has helped me free myself! I DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME FOR THAT before. I wish I had MADE the time.

And so I leave you with this:

THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU BECAUSE YOU HELP ME BE ME!!

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