Alright so it’s been awhile since I’ve posted. I come from a place where it’s really hard to share a part of myself. I keep thinking that a light will go on and I’ll be ready to share this part of myself with the world. Why is it so hard? Will I change the universe with my blogs? Am I that much more special that I have that kind of power? Or is it just that I feel that now more will be expected and required of me? What will it all mean in the end? Can I say EGO???
Not only do I have that conflict in me but since I’ve been dealing with MS, over 7 years ago the symptoms started, I’ve been feeling like I want to hide even more. But there is something in me that says no way. The time is now to come out. To express myself to the masses or at least the 1 other person who will make it look like someone else other than myself and my husband might read this. I’m not sure what it is but it is what leads me to write these blogs. Do I give it more power so I can write more and feel more vulnerable after sharing myself with you? I do know that I can’t argue much with that force within me and that eventually it will win.
Ah, that gives me a feeling of relief. Yes. That force inside me is my inner voice waiting to be heard and when I give it a little more leg room it is relieved. I am relieved.
So what is wrong? What will happen? You might know me. Great. It’s about time. I’ll let you know when I come out and then maybe you’ll read this too at some point and I won’t just keep it to myself. After all, what good is a voice if it isn’t read, written or heard?