Hi! I’m back from my Rest-cation! Hope you all had a good and restful week too!
I am so glad I took the time to rest last week. Why is that so hard? I mean, really. Rest. After trying to practice it even more these days, the word still seems unfamiliar to me–almost foreign.
I have been known to share with others that I feel “Rest is Productive”. Do I really believe it? Yeah, I guess somewhere in a little nook of my brain I’m starting to accept that. Why? Because after 2 years of being forced to do more of this strange concept called “Rest” (not to mention the other 8 years of supposedly “resting” my body with an MS diagnosis) I have found that I actually feel better when I do so. Before my lupus diagnosis 2 years ago, I found that rest was only something I did because I had to and because it “kept me going” like the Energizer Bunny. I don’t really know that it helped that much to be honest with you. My head wasn’t in it. That’s for sure. Now I find that it actually helps me function better and get on with my day.
BUT I still only really REST when I have been kicked back on my butt. So there I was last week on my Rest-cation thinking I’m totally getting this Rest thing down. I mean, if you asked me before Thursday, I was SO RESTING. Right? Well, sort of but not fully committed to it. Then on Thursday after I felt I had rested at home enough and wanted to get out and do things that might be restful for my mind, my body decided it really needed more REST–it was feeling AWFUL with terrible fatigue and pretty weak–and I had to LITERALLY get on my butt on the couch with my feet up and REST. I mean, really. Hadn’t I already been doing that? I guess not as much as I should’ve been.
So I did just that. I RESTED. I didn’t have much choice. I didn’t want to feel any worse. I learned a valuable lesson too. That lesson included an actual realization that even RESTING can cause symptoms in my body and that it isn’t all MY FAULT. I didn’t do ANYTHING to make me feel worse. It JUST HAPPENED.
That is huge. Pretty much everyone I’ve talked to about my health has told me before that none of this is my fault and I have no real control over whether I feel better or worse and that sometimes these things really are RANDOM. Go figure. RANDOM. I have 2 diseases. They are going to act up whether I want them to or not.
I CAN ONLY DO WHAT I CAN TO MAKE SURE I DON’T EXACERBATE THEM FURTHER.
I CAN CHOOSE TO REST.
175th Blog Post!: Doing My Best to Focus On the Positive
175 Blog posts I’ve written!!!!!
WOW!
I am blown away that I keep on writing. It’s been helping me so much. You’ve been helping me so much. All of you who Follow me, stop on by to read a few posts, comment on my Blog, email me personally (I know I still owe some of you responses) and who support me help me stay positive.
I was told by my Chiropractor last week that I needed to start adding EVEN MORE positive thoughts, elements, stuff, things–whatever it is for me to be positive–at least twice more a week. He told me how some of his patients have done that. As he’s been treating me, some emotions have been coming up like FEAR, anger and just being really frustrated. Some of the emotions have been good too. But in order to cushion the impact of the hard emotions (trying not to say negative because perhaps IT REALLY ISN’T NEGATIVE TO HAVE THESE HARD EMOTIONS), he’s highly suggested I add more “up” things to my life.
So yesterday while I was getting my apartment cleaned (one of the best things I have ever decided to let SOMEONE ELSE DO because there’s no way it would get done any other way), I found myself wandering a mall for awhile before sitting down, eating lunch and hanging out.
Here’s what I found in a store:
I LOVE THESE “KEEP CALM” SAYINGS…and this one FITS ME PERFECTLY!
HOW AWESOME IS THIS?! I mean it is SOOOOO ME! It’s a hue of purple, it’s a “Keep Calm” saying, it says “Sparkle” and I love sparkly things, and it’s on a plaque thingie that I can put up on my wall to remind me to keep calm and sparkle. It really helps me to remember that it’s all gonna be OK and I can get through anything because if I can deal with having MS and lupus I can deal with a lot of other crap…EVEN IF IT FEELS LIKE I JUST CAN’T TAKE ANYMORE…and believe me it feels like that often.
So this was one of my first attempts at finding more positive things to focus on. Today I had PLENTY to get my nerves all in an uproar and then I saw that in my bedroom sitting on my bookshelf at eye level and it reminded me to BREATHE and remember what’s more important.
MY LIGHT FROM WITHIN IS MORE IMPORTANT.
It’s not this other crapola that keeps getting in my way.
I’M WHAT MATTERS…
So after dealing with some tough stuff, I made sure to go walk on the treadmill in the “new” (I say it in quotes because it’s been in the apartment building now for probably a year but it’s “new” to me) for a bit and then head up to the sun deck, look at the sky and the world around me and remember what really matters. It’s also incredibly humbling to see that I am a little thing compared to the rest of the world. My problems aren’t AS BIG as the world so it helps to put them in perspective.
And then to think I’m well on my way to 200 BLOG POSTS!
SO COOL!
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for being a part of my life.
I can’t wait to see what else is in store…well maybe I can…but to know I’m not alone helps a lot!
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